I’ve been running outside because there’s too much on my mind to keep locked in a gym…

I’m glad it’s cool these days

Sometimes I worry that I won’t have anything left to say.  I worry that I’ll wake up one morning and I’ll have grown up in my sleep.  I will lose the perspective of myself when I was young and all the melodies that I can easily hear won’t be there anymore to be heard.

All the songs and stories that come out of nowhere in my head will just disappear…

I worry about this because its the one thing about myself that I think no one can take away from me.

There have been plenty of times when I’ve had nothing to say.  When I woke up and felt that there won’t be anything left to say ever.  I even stopped listening to music at one point, recently.

I think these times exist in every ones head. But, so far in my life, they seem to be followed by an intense moment I can only describe as a burning desire.  An idea that becomes greater than my head, a story or melody or feeling that leaves me no choice but to write something, sing something, draw something.  It’s usually a melody… Sometimes it’s a picture… Sometimes it’s something someone said or an intense feeling of disappointment or success or something that breaks trough a grey wall of “nothing”.

This morning I was thinking: Disappointment crushes me… but then it wakes me up and makes me want to make something new.