I ran for 60 minutes in the Park today thinking about how I’m ruining Riley’s life because I dropped her off at daycare…

I do realize that I drop her off like a total nut job mom type every day.  But I honestly don’t care.

She is 7 months old and she NEEDS her pacifiers to be freezing cold, her formula to be just the right “warm temperature” and she needs to fall asleep with a blanket I freshly sprayed with “See” by Chloe because that’s what mommy smells like so f*uck all ya’ll if u don’t like it.

I hate myself.

I’m THAT mom that leaves and they All roll their eyes and probably are like “fucking get a nanny and keep her at home of that’s how specific your needs are” but I don’t want to.  I want her to be around kids and I want the teachers to remember everything I say because honestly if I had that job I would.  I know I would because I’ve done MUCH harder jobs that requires a lot more juggling and once I take something on that requires attention to detail I don’t take it lightly.  I pay attention to the fucking details.

I crush it.

I expect these people to do the same.  Especially since they are the reason I can’t even consider going to Paris for a weekend.

I decided to come to terms with the fact that sometimes I’m an asshole.  I’m not going to pretend it’s not true.  I know I am.  I know it sucks.  I own this shitty aspect of my personality and right at this point in my life I choose to NOT work on it.

It’s so frekin hot and humid and as torturous as it is I’ve been feeling pretty good afterwards…  Thank GOD for running… I needed to get a lot of frustrations out today… Clearly.