I’m 26 weeks in and I can honestly say I feel kind of crazy… Both my mind and body are all over the place…
It felt really good to run on the Hudson this morning. It truly feels like home. It’s my sanity and a reminder that I’m hopelessly in love with Manhattan. Even though I live in Brooklyn I constantly make excuses to work from here and run from here anytime I can.
I’ve never been attached to a physical place. In fact I’ve always been the opposite. I aways felt 100% comfortable saying good bye to a neighborhood, an apartment, a community. I always liked the prospect of something new. But since I moved to Manhattan in 2000 I felt, for the first time in my life, that I found my true home.
I LIKE hearing sirens at 2 AM. I LIKE walking into a sea of people in the morning to get a cup of coffee. It makes me feel awake (which in no way means that I don’t need my red eye).
I may be hormonal or nostalgic… but I think I’m just in love…
My run was great even though I was so tired. I was dragging my feet at first but I got into it pretty quickly. It’s sunny and breezy outside and I’m still on my feet. trotting away. Sometimes I’m even bouncing away!!! I’m thankful for that.
I ordered lunch from Eva’s Restaurant on 8th street. I got an egg and cheese sandwich on whole wheat with a giant salad on the side. These guys seriously know how to do it.
I’m truly excited to meet you little one. So are Amit and Zoey. The cutest moments are when they both talk to you at the same time. I have the sweetest family in the world and they mean more to me than anything on this earth. Yet… Somehow my unresolved situation at work is taking over my brain and leaving me uneasy. I should be happy and excited and elated right? I’m not exactly in that place. I’m anxious and nervous and feel like I’m not being as productive as I could be. Every day feels like it’s time to make something of nothing and it’s draining… I’m in no way saying that I’m feeling hopeless. Hope is all I have. Hope and the things in my brain that turn into stories.
It’s all I drill into my head while I’m running… but if I could just have one thing that I’ve been working on see the light of day I think it would change my world… Just one… That’s all it would take for me to feel replenished. There will be more pushing after that. I know. And I’m 100% cool with pushing until i’m 90! I just need to hear a voice other than my own echo.