60 minutes in Prospect Park – it’s 80 degrees and i’m SOAKED

Today’s run was a serious detox… I’m chugging water as I type…

Riley is over 7 months old

rye

I run every day but never have time to write about it…

So often I have nothing to say…

Often I do but have no time to write them down…

Often I’m lost for words.. I wish I could somehow save my thoughts without having to find a way to express them.  Maybe I need to just take pictures of myself.  Perhaps the expression on my face says it all?

meme

Raising kids is hard

Riley is at daycare right now.  It’s her third “day”.  I left her there for one hour the first day and two hours the second day… It’s been an hour and a half since I dropped her off and I am SO on edge like a crazy person….

Riley is the sweetest little person… I can’t handle the idea of anyone ignoring her or letting her cry.. It literally crumbles my senses….

Zoey is almost 4…

Zbug

She is a really intense little person who is extremely specific about her needs and sometimes it seriously drives me up the wall.  It’s so hard… She is literally the sweetest little girl and her imagination and reasoning is brilliant… but she’s 4… and she FREAKS out for reasons I don’t understand all the time…

I’m trying to get better at understanding these reasons… I’m trying to get better at being patient…

The other day she called me a monster and it crushed me.

That night she said she was sorry and I melted…

I always thought I would never grow up but I honestly think the moment I grew up was the same moment Zoey was born… and again when RIley was born…

So now I’m a grown up… But when I’m running I still get to be a kid…

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Running Is My Kingdom

Today was my first post pregnancy run.  6 weeks after my c section.  It’s been so long…

I kept thinking the same thought: Running is my kingdom

Today I flew through it

I love the fact that I carry my own weight in each step I take

No one tells me to stop or slow down.  I don’t have to think before taking the next leap and my brain is free.  It’s free if any thoughts that involve socialized behavior which I’m realizing is the opposite of relief…

I was drawing motions through the air and they were making the most beautiful lines and curves… I floated through everything I saw…

Running after not running for a while makes for an incredible series of moments

Running is my religion and I believe in it every day.. I prey every day and look deep into myself without involving anyone else… I find my center and look at it… Even if I don’t want to…

Everything I love comes down to this raw form of being human…

Running is my kingdom and I’ve been building it for years…

This is where I am free.

I will never leave this place.

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Running through Pregnancy #2

overall:

It got crazy hard at times.

Sometimes I felt motivated and excited and proud.

Other times I felt like a fucking moron for pushing myself to do this.

Overall I have to say that the hardest part was knowing that each day may be the last day and having to be ok with it…

I never want to do this again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I’m ready to quit and sleep for 6 weeks… 45 Min in the beautiful park felt like HELL today

The first few steps of every run SUCK these days… I’m huffing and puffing and feel like a zombie all the time…

I’m so tired and cranky and I’ve been switching off between running on a treadmill and the elliptical machine which is so boring…

I went for a run outside this morning.  I just couldn’t take the inside of a gym anymore… and it started off TERRIBLE… I have this nagging pain in my right ankle, which I think is a result of wearing high heels to the DUMBO Arts Festival…

This outdoor run reminded me how much I love running and then I started feeling the pain in my ankle.. then in my left calf… then just everywhere… I just felt broken and uncoordinated and heavy and tired…

I think I need to go back to the elliptical for a few days… then the treadmill… this blows… I’m ready to be done… I’m ready to just quit and sleep through the next 6 weeks…

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Cross training… Can’t avoid doing some of it at this point….

I ran this morning on the treadmill after about a week of elliptical training.  My calf was feeling tight And I didn’t want to risk injuring it so I immediately switched over to that machine that kicks my ASS.

The upside is that I get an even more intense workout when I use the elliptical.  The downside is that it’s nothing like running… Running gets me in a zone… It feels easy and effortless (even on days when I’m really tired).

But heres what I just realized:  the times that I’m forced to cross train not only make me appreciate running but also make realize that there ARE other ways to sweat and get your heart rate going.

Still… Nothing beats putting on my sneakers and running in the park…

I’m definitely dealing with an intense internal dialogue on a daily basis… Pregnancy is hard physically but it’s the mental stuff that really gets to me.  That’s the part I don’t have as much of a hold on.

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Apple Oatmeal Flax Cookies – AMAZING

http://www.fitsugar.com/Healthy-Recipe-Apple-Oatmeal-Flax-Cookies-5324399

Ok so I have to take Iron supplements and we all know how much fun that can be… SOOOOOOOO… I’m making these cookies tonight.  I modified the recipe: only half a cup of sugar and I did not peel the apples – the peel has tons of fiber and I happen to love it 😉

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