Average run… 45 Min on Treadmill…

This morning’s run was average.  Nothing good… Nothing bad…

I felt physically better than most days but just have this little bit of a grey cloud hovering over my head… Don’t know why… Just feeling low…

Its funny because work has actually been taking my mind off of things and that’s why I want to keep working until I’m ready to go to the hospital.  I don’t see the need to stop.

I’m trying to catch myself at certain moments… Trying not to say things I don’t mean or snap at people who walk into the subway too slow (what the FUCK is wrong with those people by the way… I mean – once u ENTER the train it doesn’t mean that the people behind u disappear!)

So… We have another growth scan that was scheduled a little early so that my OB can track the growth of her head.  The last measurements came in at the 6th percentile and.. What the fuck does that mean? I have no idea.  Small hats? Small brain?

I tried not to worry about it but tomorrow is our next growth scan and I’m scared… What if her head is too small? What does that MEAN???

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