Love/Hate this place… I ran one hour and 7 minutes today

I know that somewhere deep DEEP inside I love you NY but today I
fucking hate you.

It’s freezing and the snow on the ground is black and i almost tripped
and fell 30 times on the way to the highway.

At one point I looked up and realized the sky was a little pinkish
which was pretty, but guess what – I still fucking hate you NY.

I can’t wait to go to California on Thursday.

  • Share/Bookmark

Hmm… Massage… Sweet relief… I ran one hour and 5 minutes today

I got a massage today right after my run and… how funny it is that we just accept certain things in society as OK?  Other things are not OK at all.  I mean…. Some dude or chick with decision making power decided that having some dude or chick run their hands all over any dude or chick’s naked body is (in this country) deemed to be perfectly fine.

Happy ending? Not fine.

I get massages often and I usually don’t think twice about it.  It’s a functional thing for me so I don’t turn it into this whole pretty little spa experience.  Instead I turn to the trusted Asian sketchy basement I can easily find on every other corner in NYC.

Rules of the house:
1 – You get 3 minutes to get undressed.  Don’t bitch about it.

2 – Don’t bitch about the door being left open a crack during your session

3 – Don’t bitch about the mood enhancing play list (it WILL include a string quartet tribute to “The Sound of Silence”)

4 – It will smell like one of the following: Chinese take out, Korean take out, Japanese take out, or FARTS.  Don’t bitch about it.

5 – Don’t bitch PERIOD because I don’t actually speak your stupid language and I don’t know what “foot” means or what “please stop I can’t breath” means

6- Bathroom is one foot away, around the corner (in the kitchen)

They work the shit out of you till u want to scream and/or cry and then you walk out feeling elated.  It’s like being in Fight Club.

Here and there I will actually give thought to the fact that i am about to have some chick (i always opt for the chick, I’ve had sketchy experiences with guys at these places) pounce on me and rub her hands all over me and then pay her for it.  What “Off-mode” do I register into before getting undressed and letting these shenanigans take place?  I’m not sure but I love those damn massages.

Here are a few other examples of things that make no sense to me:

Drinking alcohol – totally legal.  Smoking Pot- illegal.

Eating poison (McDonald’s) – totally legal.  Smoking Pot- illegal.

Violence all over the news – totally legal.  Smoking Pot- illegal.

Toy guns for sale at Toys R Us – totally legal.  Smoking Pot- illegal.

Exposed nipple – this movie is rated R.
Terrorizing ambush resulting in thousands of bleeding blown-off limbs – This movie is rated PG13.

Smoking Pot before watching either movie – Illegal.

Anyway.  Running is awesome.  How do I find more runners?

  • Share/Bookmark

Snow and Double standards. I ran one hour and 2 Minutes today.

OK, first let me just say – I didn’t blog yesterday or Thursday so I never got to bitch about my “dark cold I couldn’t move in the morning so I ran at night run” (last night) and my “still very drunk this AM run” (Thursday) and I’m sure they were both about an hour long but I wouldn’t know because i could hardly feel anything through both of them.

It was a little bit like being dead and running at the same time.  I highly recommend it.

This is where most people pull the “you have a problem” thing.  Most people don’t understand why (and how) I run when I feel that way.  “Why not take a day off? why not let your body relax? waah waah waahhh?”

Why? I’ll tell you why:

First of all I do take days off.

When I wake up in the AM and feel great and realize I’ve been running 3 weeks in a row I say to myself “take a day off – let your legs chill out” and it’s cool.  I usually don’t need it but I do it anyway. I always appreciate a run more the next day (after taking a day off) it’s like missing someone you want to be with all the time.

2nd thing I want to say (and, just for the record, this is not in defense.  I’m just explaining my reasoning because why the hell not – everyone who has a problem with my routine can suck it) is that the days I wake up and feel completely paralyzed from either drinking too much or running around too much and working late are the days that my little precious, untouchable hour long ritual (on average) makes the biggest difference of all.

Believe it or not, I come back from a run and feel approximately 70% better (on average) than when I woke up 60 min prior.

As it turns out, these sneaky little toxins find a way of sliding out of my body when sweat does.  This concept is a little like rocket science but I’m very wise therefore I can register concepts such as these.

Turning exhaustion into fueled energy, in my book: not a bad thing.

Once I went out for a run when I was borderline sick and it turned into a full blown cold.  I survived and lived to tell.

Anyway the snow is great I love it.  Unfortunately, It started snowing after my run so I didn’t get to stick my tongue out and catch snowflakes which i love to do when I’m running – and then I cross my eyes to zone in on my tongue and see if i can detect the shape.  I never can and I’m sure I look retarded.  Its my favorite Snow-run activity of all.

Today the wind almost tripped me and sent me flying when I was turning the corner around Chelsea Piers.  Crazy wind tunnel…  It would have been pretty funny if the wind actually did trip me.  actually no.  That would be far from funny.

  • Share/Bookmark

Strong Legs. Unsteady head. I ran one hour and 3 minutes today

My legs felt stronger than my head today.

It was colder than I thought and I ran in shorts and I pumped my arms and lapped someone who looked like a Nike endorsement. Couldn’t feel my legs after a while but i liked it.  Got a bunch of looks because I guess its too cold for shorts…

I had a lot to think about.  Today I actually thought with my head which i hate… I try not to ever do that when I’m running but there was just too much going on in there to swipe aside… I ran to feel numb today because I fought with someone I love (a lot) yesterday and it stressed me out.

There’s this incredibly unsettling  feeling that only happens when I fight with certain people.  Very few people matter enough, and when I say few i mean 2.  It’s a similar feeling to getting lost in the supermarket when i was three.  I used to wander off all the time because i loved wandering off, it felt good to be on my own until i couldn’t find my mom, and realized there’s a good chance that i may die alone in the frozen foods section.

Side Note: I remember my thoughts from when I was three, and four, and five, and six, etc etc.  Its a weird, freak thing because now i remember absolutely nothing.  Yet I can tell you where I was in my head at most given moments in my childhood.  I used to make a point to remind myself (as a kid) to remember these things because I felt it would be important later on in life.  That’s  some creepy Dakota Fanning style brain action.  Now I’m wondering if these memories are important or just interesting and cumbersome on the brain…

If i were given a choice I would rather keep fighting until a fight is DONE.  I hate settling into the “time out I can’t take your shit for any longer now – I’ll get back to you” mode.  Hate that mode.

I hate being wrong and I don’t think I’m a bitch but what if I am? I would like to believe that I can step outside myself and see other people’s perspectives but as it turns out someone doesn’t believe that’s necessarily the case.  Could I be blind to all of this? Could i be completely consumed in my own thoughts and beliefs that I can’t see past myself? I don’t think so but I’m bad at defending my perspective on myself.

What if I’m one of those people who thinks I’m a good listener but doesn’t ever shut up?

Side Note: Those people are the worst.

Anyway… Thoughts… thoughts… thoughts… enough to have a carnival of thoughts in my head…

  • Share/Bookmark

Profound thoughts… I ran one hour and two minutes today.

The world is racing right before our eyes and changing so fucking fast.

Why did I think this today? Because I ran past this construction zone and realized that they’re finally semi-done with this new section they’ve been building forever on the WSH.  Its been growing and changing before my eyes for 9 years and sometimes it feels like its been a week.

Side note: Why is it that watching the subway pull away so much worse than knowing it left a min ago?

Side note (on another note): Why is another subway pulling up RIGHT after the one u missed so much more satisfying than just boarding a subway I waited 2 minutes on the platform for?

I watched my nephew Aharon play this game on my i-touch and realized that it took him about one minute to figure it out.  he’s 2 years old.   If I saw any kind of form of this type of game at his age I would think one of the following things:

A – I’m on drugs
B – my aunt is on drugs
C – we are in the future today
D – we won the lottery and bought the coolest toy on planet earth

Here’s what I suspect: The stuff that every kid is growing up with today basically makes it really hard to differentiate between what’s real and what’s not.  Everything is possible.  Cartoons look like people.  What they do should and could be done by people.  This would be MY reasoning if i were 3.

This world is changing, evolving, moving (just like it has for quite some time) and all we think about it keeping up.  But… is “keeping up” with these changes actually holding us back?  Do we have too many choices? Did we forget how to look at each other and just talk? Is that a good or bad thing? Maybe looking at people and talking is totally overrated?

I have a feeling that most people don’t remember phone numbers anymore…but then again what good are numbers in our head? Why was is better to live in a time where that part of your brain was more developed?  Was it really useful to know how to add after the calculator was invented?

Side note: Math sucks.

No matter what happens to us, the human race, I hope we continue to find a reason to run.  I hope people don’t stop playing outside.  Sitting outside, chillin outside, drinking outside, talking to each other outside without actually needing a cell phone nearby (which will turn into a brain chip soon enough, Errrr, gross).

You can’t type laughing and you can’t type screaming and you can’t type running and i know i need all three.  I would hate a world without them.

Side note: someone actually coughed in my drink last night.  I just remembered that and it made me gag.

Side note (seriously I’m not kidding): that same someone actually coughed in the new drink I got at the bar as a result of him coughing in it.

I hope we continue to go places with our feet, from one place to the next, with some type of urgency because there’s actually something or someone we want to get to other than what’s in front of us on our virtual screens or in our virtual heads.

Here’s why I think time travel will be possible: because our worlds will become so virtual that all we have to do it press rewind and we would be in a simulated version of our past.

When that happens, the hoverboard and flux capacitor will be a total joke.

Michael j fox you lied to us.

By the way – I’m typing this on my Blackberry as I walk down the street in Chelsea through the flower district.  Almost bumped into the same dude I almost bump into every day.

  • Share/Bookmark

BOOBS. I ran for an hour and 2 minutes today.

Lots of Boobs running up and down the streets of NY.  Let’s talk about this for a minute.

What’s the real story behind boobs? Why are men so infatuated with them? Why are women so concerned with them?  Why do some men have them? Is it really all about size? Or do we factor in personality? Not sure I grasp it fully yet but I’m on a mission to explore.  These were my thoughts this AM while running.

Let us dive in shall we?

Mine are small.  Minis.

I’ve been called pancake chest, marshmallow girl, mini muffin tops, “why are you smuggling raisins?” etc etc… I love my boobs.  I’d die if I had BAZOOKAS because I would never be able to run with those.  Plus I’d have back pain.  Not fun.  I enjoy looking petite and being comfortable.

Perks (ha) of having small boobs include: Any swimsuit top fits.  I can wear tank tops with no bras.  I can wear anything with no bra.

Life is a blast for small boob chicks.

Side Note (for guys): Its not REALLY OK to stare at a girls boobs when she’s talking to u.  Yes she notices. Yes she hates it. Yes its kind of juvenile.  But here’s the deal: If you’re gonna be that guy then stare at the small ones too.  Why leave us out? Why not give small boob girls a reason to get annoyed for a minute too? Don’t discriminate.

Anyway, the boobs I see running around the city clearly come from many different backgrounds.  Some are well behaved and tamed.  Some look depressed and saggy.  Some are controlled, bound tightly, and locked into place.  Some are bouncy, some are 99.9% not real… And all chicks who run always have some sort of a strategy in figuring out the boob situation when it comes to work out time.  Us girls have pretty intense relationships with packaging our boobs.  It’s a job (for some).

OK.. what’s next?

Boob jobs.
Let’s talk about those for a sec.

Lesson #1: Girls who weight 100 lbs, have a tiny frame and a giant perky rack resting perfectly parallel to their chins have most likely had some sort of alteration, enhancement done.

Now… I know I said I was judging last time I wrote.  And i don’t take that back.  Let me put some of that judgment to work:

Seriously girls… Don’t do that.  Have u felt fake boobs before? Very rubbery.  Plus your nipples will be hard forever.  Not just when u are having sex, not just when you’re cold, not just when u have the chills.

FOR.
EVER.

Not so fun right?

Guys: Encouraging this type of behavior will only increase your chances of finding yourself in a silicon strip show when you bring home your girl of choice.  A one night stand with the rubber mountains… Is that what you really want? Be honest.  I’m curious.

Plus a bunch of you suckers end up paying for these surgeries which is probably the funniest part of this whole shitshow.

Ok now here’s my favorite topic of all: Man boobs.

Ummmm.. Hi?

Have u been privy to the hairy undefined flapping man boob? Not a fun time…

How about the Ultra white saggy gynormous pink nipple MB? Not that appetizing either…

Men should probably avoid growing man boobs if they can.

First signs of man boobs include:

A: Your MBs are starting to look a little bit more like your girlfriend’s
B: Your MBs are puffy
C: Your MBs are swollen
D: Your MBs are doing a dance you’ve never seen them do before

There.
There’s your bullet proof list.  Live by it (if possible – If not just find someone who loves you unconditionally for who you are).

What does all this have to do with running?
A lot.

If everyone ran every day they would feel better. Period.

FACT: Every time you run. Your boobs will run with you. Big or small.  Saggy or perky.

There’s my tie in.

Now go out there and run a few miles and feel happy about your boobs.  Celebrate.

  • Share/Bookmark

Not that bad out. I ran one hour and 3 minutes today.

I feel like a BAD ASS.  That was a good run.

I turned back into the city streets from the highway on 28th street today and since no one was on the streets (it’s freezing and it’s early on a Saturday… duh..) I did a little window shopping as i ran past a bunch of my favorite little boutiques.  I eyed an awesome shirt at Free People.

There’s some sort of outdoor market thing going on on 23rd street.  They had like 10 tables set up and were selling porcelain Jesus and Mary statues, burritos, and slushys.  Not sure what was going on over there… looked like they were about to party pretty hard though.

Anyway… WEATHER: It’s really not that bad outside.  The wind is at 8 MPH and its sunny so i almost tricked myself to believing I was in Barcelona and running in shirts by the beach.  Then I noticed how i couldn’t feel my fingers at ALL which reminded me I was in NY.

I tried running with my eyes closed for a little bit just to make things interesting.  Then I had a vision of what could potentially happen as a result of this experiment and I stopped.

I saw some woman dancing/running today on the WSH (West Side Highway).  She had this whole routine she was into… flailing her arms all over the place like a moron on a mission.

My only thought was… Why?

I’m the antithesis of Crunch Gym.  I’m all about judgment.

By the way, I would really like to know how exactly Crunch backs up their promise of “No judgments”?  I was a member of that gym for a brief moment in time and I don’t remember ever going through an interview process that ensured I was “non-judging”.  I mean… I KNOW me.  I’m totally judging.  Just like you.  Everyone is.  Hate to burst the bubble but we are wired this way as humans.  Anyway judging and being judged makes us better people because we don’t want to look dumb and be judged.

Conclusion:  Judgment is awesome.  Crunch is full of shit.

I’m just wondering… in general… why we try so hard to hide some of the things that naturally, innately are part of our nature.  We put lots of energy into that.  hmmmm…. This energy can be used for something fun like.. making a sandwich.

I’m not even saying that I’m not guilty of this myself.  I package things in a pretty, socially acceptable format just like all of us (sometimes).

Anyway… I saw a heard of people taking pictures of the Intrepid today.  YAY! Lets celebrate the hardware we use to kill foreign soldiers.  It looks so pretty.  Let’s post it on Facebook and eat a hot dog.

Side note: My husband is giving me a foot massage as i type this.  We’re listening to some old U2.  Perfect moment.

I switched from Isan to Immor today.  There are some exceptions to my “running to music with no words” rule.  My favorite Immor song is called Chemical Feelings.  Thanks for fueling my run Casey – can’t wait to hear the new stuff…

Amit and I are working on a secret little project and we are about to embark on a little mission at some diner right by the foot of the Brooklyn Bridge.  How elusive and mysterious is that??  Bet you’re wondering what we’re up to.  Bet you’re DYING to know.  Bet I’m talking to no one right now because no one reads this.

  • Share/Bookmark

26 degrees… 9 AM on a Saturday…

I’m about to go out there.  Prepared to lose my face in the wind. BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

wish me luck.  think of me world.

  • Share/Bookmark

FREEZING FINGERS. I ran One hour and 10 minutes today.

My fingers are still frozen… Gimme a minute…

OK I’m back. Its cold out there. Definitely had a bunch of moments that made me want to crawl into the exhaust pipe of a bus.  I swear there was this one moment where this bus just stopped right in front of me and farted black fumes right into my face and I enjoyed every second of it as it thawed my lifeless fingers.

I’m not going to lie.  I said fuck in my head approximately 100 times per minute when i got out there this AM but… again… After ten minutes it was just me against the road.

I attacked the road today.  I was all “You wanna try to kill me? I’ll kill u right back”

Here’s an interesting thought (to me): running in the freezing cold makes u pump your arms and engage your core (Amit I know you love that).  It makes u not want to stop even for a second.  And here’s something else I realized: it makes u run MUCH FASTER.  I chased the wind and it was awesome.

I love this blog.  Most of the time when I talk about how awesome my run was (especially on a day like today) most people are like “Shut your mouth and take your little tight bod and stick it somewhere AWAY from my face”

No one gets to tell me to shut up :)

MY BLOG.

OK… I’ll talk about something interesting now…

I don’t really have any health freak friends.  We pick restaurants based on vibe, New York Magazine, the new hot chef, and the “Anything below 14th street” rule.

I have one vegan friend and he lives in LA.  He doesn’t drink which is clearly something we need to work on because as far as I know no animals were killed in the process of making Tequila.

I’m not really a health freak myself but I like healthy food and I try to make the right choices as often as possible. Living in this city makes it kind of hard because of all the amazing food and new restaurants that open up every like… day.

So… Where am i going with this?

I’ve learned how to make healthy choices over the years because I’m always reading about what foods are good for you and what’s not good for you.

I decided that instead of just rambling on in my blog I’m going to (from time to time) make myself useful and give you some great tips on making healthy choices in NYC restaurants.  I’m not going to focus on “health food restaurants” because we all know those tend to suck when it comes to vibe and ambiance and drinking with your friends.

I’m going to focus on all the places we love to love.  Like.. last night we went to Pala (www.palapizza.com) to celebrate Andy Hollander’s B-day after watching Dana Parish fog up the windows with her performance at Rockwood music hall.  Then she pinched my husband’s butt.  (BTW – love Rockwood, love Dana, love foggy windows…)

Anyway, about Pala: I always walked past it and saw this cute Italian place on Houston and thought: Eh I can’t find anything healthy there except for fish and Italian restaurants always DOUSE their Fish with TONS of oil and anyone who watched what they eat knows how that makes you feel…

I was totally wrong (which never happens).  This place was awesome.  vibe is great.  Amazing Gluten free menu, amazing Vegan choices.  They basically cater to people like me who LOVE to make alterations to menus.  I’m that chick that makes the chef roll their eyes at the server when they put my order in.  Then they probably say something like “why doesn’t that bitch just stay home and make her own food?”

I’m giving Pala a raving thumbs up.  Here’s what we ordered:

1 – Polpette meatballs (in tomato sauce and parmigiano cheese) YUM! But I only had one because they are a little on the heavy side

2 – Favetta fresca mixed greens (with fava beans and pecorino primo sale) AMAZING.  Inhaled it.

3 – Parma prosciutto Gluten Free Pizza (cherry tomatoes, parmigiano cheese emulsion, tomato sauce and mozzarella).  Great pizza.  Had one slice.  loved the crust.

The pizza wasn’t EXACTLY Gluten free because there was something in the sausage.. not sure exactly… I was 2 tequila shots in at that point so I missed the details

The wine was great too but I forgot what we had.

It was yummy.  Happy Birthday Andy.

  • Share/Bookmark