Today was one of those days that even my husband looked at me as I zipped up my 5th layer and said “you’re just going out there?”

I did.

Flights have been CXLd today… schools have been closed down today… People forgot how to walk today… But I’m still running

After my run I thawed off in the subway and found myself staring at a poster of a family in bathing suits on the beach in Florida. I might have drooled a little at one point.

They happen to look totally retarded but I wasn’t really paying attention to that. They looked like the kind of family who would annoy the shit out of me on the beach but I still wouldn’t mind being there with them today… and feeling the sun hit my face. I would even share my fruit salad if they asked politely.

Instead… I got to feel my face burn in pain from the snow and wind – which, to be quite honest, was the only REAL drawback to today’s run…It was actually very beautiful out… The snow is magical…

HOWEVER… It was blowing into my face so hard at one point that I turned around and ran backwards for a few seconds so that I could catch my breath.

NYC squeezes the shit out of me in the winter. When I wake up in the morning and I feel like being squeezed I love this place and when I’m in the mood to just be tapped lightly i fucking hate it.

I’ve never been so torn… or felt so dysfunctional in a relationship. My relationship with NYC as a runner and as a person craving interaction with people who are as interesting as me has literally made me insane this winter…

I can’t stand the cold yet I can’t imagine living a slower life… I hate the giant buildings and constant noise yet I hate the quiet boring suburbs…I love my family being close by… yet i can’t stand my family being close by…

What to think.. who to blame… it always slips my mind to use my brain