After running religiously for over 11 years I really forgot what its like to feel tired DURING a run.

Here and there, when I got back into running after being injured, I felt tired and my lung capacity was different… But somehow its not the same as what I’m going through now.

I actually have no idea where this drive is coming from at this point… I wake up in the morning and I just feel like there is not one thing I want to do besides go back to bed.

Massages are the best thing EVER these days but I don’t have the patience for a full body massage… I’ve been adding 40 minute leg and foot massages to my pedicures… Sometimes even just going for a foot massage and no pedi… The chicks at my favorite spot know me WELL.  They love when I walk in and drop $40-70 depending on what mood I’m in…

Its been raining these past few days… I have about 3 weeks left… I ran on the treadmill today… I was so damn tired… I thought about reducing my time to 30 minutes but then I was like “fuck this! I can do this”…

While I was running I watched a documentary type show called “Husbands who kill” … The focus seemed to be on husbands who kill their wives when they find out they are pregnant.  The reason being that it makes them feel trapped.  This show made me feel good about my husband because he hasn’t killed me yet.

I felt good about my life in general after watching this show.

I know one thing for sure.  I always feel physically and mentally better after running (unless I overdo it) It’s hard to get myself down there these days.. but I somehow have managed to keep doing it…

I’m afraid of postpardum depression and I think that running till the very end will decrease the chances of that happening… I could be making this up but I chose to believe it anyway…

Now all I’m thinking about is… How the hell am I going to pull myself together and make myself do this again tomorrow?…