I ran for 60 minutes in the Park today thinking about how I’m ruining Riley’s life because I dropped her off at daycare…
I do realize that I drop her off like a total nut job mom type every day. But I honestly don’t care.
She is 7 months old and she NEEDS her pacifiers to be freezing cold, her formula to be just the right “warm temperature” and she needs to fall asleep with a blanket I freshly sprayed with “See” by Chloe because that’s what mommy smells like so f*uck all ya’ll if u don’t like it.
I hate myself.
I’m THAT mom that leaves and they All roll their eyes and probably are like “fucking get a nanny and keep her at home of that’s how specific your needs are” but I don’t want to. I want her to be around kids and I want the teachers to remember everything I say because honestly if I had that job I would. I know I would because I’ve done MUCH harder jobs that requires a lot more juggling and once I take something on that requires attention to detail I don’t take it lightly. I pay attention to the fucking details.
I crush it.
I expect these people to do the same. Especially since they are the reason I can’t even consider going to Paris for a weekend.
I decided to come to terms with the fact that sometimes I’m an asshole. I’m not going to pretend it’s not true. I know I am. I know it sucks. I own this shitty aspect of my personality and right at this point in my life I choose to NOT work on it.
It’s so frekin hot and humid and as torturous as it is I’ve been feeling pretty good afterwards… Thank GOD for running… I needed to get a lot of frustrations out today… Clearly.