I got a massage today right after my run and… how funny it is that we just accept certain things in society as OK?  Other things are not OK at all.  I mean…. Some dude or chick with decision making power decided that having some dude or chick run their hands all over any dude or chick’s naked body is (in this country) deemed to be perfectly fine.

Happy ending? Not fine.

I get massages often and I usually don’t think twice about it.  It’s a functional thing for me so I don’t turn it into this whole pretty little spa experience.  Instead I turn to the trusted Asian sketchy basement I can easily find on every other corner in NYC.

Rules of the house:
1 – You get 3 minutes to get undressed.  Don’t bitch about it.

2 – Don’t bitch about the door being left open a crack during your session

3 – Don’t bitch about the mood enhancing play list (it WILL include a string quartet tribute to “The Sound of Silence”)

4 – It will smell like one of the following: Chinese take out, Korean take out, Japanese take out, or FARTS.  Don’t bitch about it.

5 – Don’t bitch PERIOD because I don’t actually speak your stupid language and I don’t know what “foot” means or what “please stop I can’t breath” means

6- Bathroom is one foot away, around the corner (in the kitchen)

They work the shit out of you till u want to scream and/or cry and then you walk out feeling elated.  It’s like being in Fight Club.

Here and there I will actually give thought to the fact that i am about to have some chick (i always opt for the chick, I’ve had sketchy experiences with guys at these places) pounce on me and rub her hands all over me and then pay her for it.  What “Off-mode” do I register into before getting undressed and letting these shenanigans take place?  I’m not sure but I love those damn massages.

Here are a few other examples of things that make no sense to me:

Drinking alcohol – totally legal.  Smoking Pot- illegal.

Eating poison (McDonald’s) – totally legal.  Smoking Pot- illegal.

Violence all over the news – totally legal.  Smoking Pot- illegal.

Toy guns for sale at Toys R Us – totally legal.  Smoking Pot- illegal.

Exposed nipple – this movie is rated R.
Terrorizing ambush resulting in thousands of bleeding blown-off limbs – This movie is rated PG13.

Smoking Pot before watching either movie – Illegal.

Anyway.  Running is awesome.  How do I find more runners?