Ready for what happened today?  I’m still not 100% sure but I’ll tell u the story and u can be the judge.  I’m on the highway around 30th street and i suddenly smell the oh so familiar smell of Marijuana.

I’m wondering where on earth this could be coming from because the only person nearby is a runner dude running in a… HM… Wait a second… running in an unusually large sweatshirt and cargo pants. and i think he’s… smoking.

Interesting cover-up technique.  I ran right up to him.  I was curious.  Hung out for a few minutes a few feet behind him… tap tap tap… took a deep (deep) breath… then I lapped that sucker YEA!

Anyway, I feel boring today.  My run was pretty boring.  Its like… MILD out.  worst word ever… Mild… Ew… So average…

The good news is that no one took my wet shoes that I left to dry outside our door last night.  I found them right where I left them.

3 years ago i left wet shoes by the door and someone took ONE shoe.  Just Took my one shoe and left the other by the door.

Who are you and WHY would u do that?

Amit (my awesome husband) and I plotted revenge.  We were working from home at the time and we tied dental floss to the remaining (lonely) shoe by the door, slid the dental floss under the door and just waited till we heard a sound coming from teh hallway.  The master plan was to pull the shoe and… laugh about it.

Those suckers never came back.

I ran into Larry this AM by the elevator while I was stretching. He lives in our building and he’s been running for years. Larry has gray hair which in my head automatically means “wisdom”.

Side note:  My dad got really smart after he started growing some gray hair.  I think It’s like the act of your brain disposing of all waste through your follicles and your head is less crowded with crap so u can think better.  Wisdom.

Another side note: Is it me or do they add french vanilla to everything these days? What is the deal? Pretzels, cereal, toothpaste, mouthwash? Isn’t mouth wash supposed to neutralize your mouth and get rid of the taste of food?  I’m sorry.  I don’t get it.

Anyway about Larry.  He’s a rock star.  He’s been running his whole life.  Every once in a while when we bump into each other he’ll tell me a random story.  Once he told me about how he used to run so much that he just started falling asleep in the middle of the day because he was so tired.  Just like.. developed a mild form (there’s that word again) of Narcolepsy or something.

Awesome.

Every one could use a little narcolepsy in their life.  If our bodies could just shut down for a recharge every once in a while mid-day we would all probably be in a better place.  We would all be a little bit more like that annoying energizer bunny.  He definitely recharges in between commercials when no one’s looking.  Someone should have pulled the plug on him a long time ago.

Where was I?…

I think they have places in midtown with sleep pods.  You basically rent out silence and comfort for a few minutes.  Holy crap. Cheers to the development of the human race.

Speaking of Cheers – last night i had a few drinks with Pete Wade at this place called Steak Frites.  Pete’s one of my best friends.  He’s tall and looks like Waldo from the Where’s Waldo books.  He’s really smart and he produces the coolest music in NYC.  He also produces smelly farts.  Just kidding.

Anyway, those Steak Frites people are geniuses.  I don’t even like french fries (That’s such a lie.  Everyone likes French fries i just don’t eat them that much) but while we were drinking at the bar one of the line cooks came out of the kitchen and served us a side of french fries on the house.  Ketchup and all.  Genius.

Everyone loves a fry with a drink and they are so easy and cheap to make I feel like every restaurant should do that.  Fuck beer nuts and chex mix.  Serve fries.  I’m starting a movement.

Last night, at yet another holiday shindig on Perry street, I had one too many glasses of wine.  I was with my husband and a bunch of architects who were working on this really cool project in Rwanda.  Lots of pretty pictures on the wall.  lots of red wine.  This morning I felt like my head was about to explode.  It was a very non-mild pain in the left side of my head and if I had the option i would have chopped that side off just to get rid of it.  It went away after ten minutes of running though so good thing i didn’t have that option.

I’m tired.. Really worn out from all these holiday parties.  I need a massage or a yoga class or some kind of time out.  Why don’t we get time outs anymore?   I used to hate them when I was a kid.  Standing all alone in the corner and facing the wall was the PITS…

Now I think it could possibly be the best thing to happen to a person.  I mean.. Stand alone.  Face the wall.  No one is allowed to talk to you.  You’re not allowed to talk to anyone.  Can’t even pickup a cell phone to yap.  No computer screen to make you twitch and stress out.  Just a wall and some “me time” to “think about what you did”.  Heaven.

I should just rent a corner somewhere in midtown and sell time outs to people who look like they need it.  I’d be all “Put down the bag and stand here and don’t talk and give me five bucks”