I haven’t written in a long time and its not because I haven’t been running – I just haven’t Had the time or desire to write.  It’s weird.  I’ve been on auto-pilot lately and I feel kind of like a robot who just wakes up and knows what the right thing to do is… I’m sort of running in my sleep but on the days that I don’t feel I feel like crap.  I’ve used running to maintain my sanity.. like an anchor I’m holding onto for dear life and not really sure how or why… On certain days my body aches for a break and I find that on those days I suddenly find myself crying on Amit’s shoulder for no reason

I’m not sure how to recap the past few weeks in a few words so… Fuck it.  I won’t.

I’ll just tell u that I had an amazing run with Amit in the Hamptons on Saturday – ran for 40 min together to the beach and back.  At one point we both thought about how we were running with our family.  What a concept.  It really put a smile on my face…

Yesterday, on the other hand, was a disaster! WORST run of my life! It was a mid-day run… My stomach was still full from breakfast… I stopped about ten times around the central park loop… Ugh… Felt like crap through the entire run… Crampy and full and…
completely.
not.
good.
at all.

This morning I woke up and wanted to quit life – I didn’t want to wake up or to run or to do anything… I went to get a coffee with Amit and he did that TALK TALK TALK thing he does in the morning which can actually snap me out of a bad mood instantly (weather I’m instantly aware of it or not).

I ran on the treadmill and it felt good.  It felt better.  Everything is upside down.