I got to run outside today.

GREAT.

…but seriously I was PISSED this AM.  I won’t go into too much detail but someone seriously wasted my time and there’s nothing more annoying than being pregnant and waking up early on a Saturday, which I do for NO ONE, just to find out I didn’t actually have a reason to.

I’ve completely lost my filter and I can’t even TRY to pretend not to be pissed when I am.

I was pissed and I didn’t pretend.

Anyway, as soon as that was over, I finally got my sneakers on around 2 pm and headed out to the park.  My feet have been swollen lately and I feel like they are loaded with water and salt and whatever else is in there that makes them look fat and old.  I also miss my sexy ankles.  I never thought they were sexy before.  Now I think they used to be sexy.

Side Note: Evian water tastes like French plastic.

I’m also pissed because I really want to get a massage EVERY day.  But every time I go I end up dropping around $140 and I’m too poor for that.

When I started running today, I was hoping it would calm me down but I didn’t really feel calm until I was in the middle of my post-run shower.  Blech…. Tight, stressful run.

I don’t feel so cute these days… I feel large and heavy but I’m guessing that my running has been keeping most of the aches and pains away.  I hear pretty terrible stories about foot cramps and lower back pains and acid reflux…  I think that once I’m into my run it sends this calmness flow through my body that I can’t get from anything else.  Not even sex (which by the way is CONTINUOUSLY incredible.  I will never be the same)

Speaking of sex… I found “The Rabbit” we bought about 2 years ago at Babe’s In Toyland in Amit’s drawer this AM and I turned on the power switch.  I’m not going to lie, this rotating penis was hypnotizing.  It seemed to have the perfect girth and all these shiny pearls at it’s base… and of course the vibrating rabbit ears that I cranked up to full speed… Amazing.  That thing is… amazing.  I can’t believe we haven’t tried it.  I can’t  imagine a guy feeling 100% threatened by that kind of toy – I mean… I’m guessing that penises are just not built to rotate in those angles… and if they did, ladies, we would probably be a lot calmer as a gender, but then again those penises probably wouldn’t make babies…

I’m just saying.

Anyway so it was pretty hot today and now I’m completely knocked out and laying on the couch with Amit flipping through channels.  I don’t think there’s any way in hell that I could get up.  I wonder what I’d do if someone offered me a million dollars.  Would I get up now? probably not.

Side note: I’ve been having second thoughts about my career.  I feel lost…