My mind was blank today.

I hate admitting that because I always want to feel original but today I was totally un-original when I woke up.

And then I thought “fuck its cold and I hate the fact that I have 5 holiday parties to go to this week”

Then I wondered… Why would I wake up and feel unmotivated to accept free drinks? Something must be seriously wrong with me.  The weather may be fucking with my brain…

Then I took a citrus flavored vitamin C drop… which made things slightly better…

I put on like 4 layers and stuck my ipod on my head playing Isan on repeat.  Love Isan these days. So soothing.  So repetitive which makes my mind go even more numb… Blahhh…

Then I stretched for less than 5 min and found my way to the elevator almost by accident.  I mean… I started stretching in the elevator again and thought “Am I even up yet? How’d I get into this elevator?”…

I said Hi to Rene (My awesome doorman)

Then… Tap tap tap (my feet) tap tap tap (my feet) Blank (my mind) blank blank blank (my mind) I’m tired…

Then I thought “fuck I have to blog”.

Then “wtf am I going to blog about” then “wtf am I blogging about my running? There’s nothing to say”

Then I thought “what’s everyone else thinking out here?”

There are probably a bunch of people like me who just run every morning in this city… On this highway… Around the same time.  I bet a handful are as religious as me about it.  Actually wait… what am i thinking… I bet a few thousand people in NYC run like me.  They don’t make a big deal out of it but they can’t live without it.  Where are they? What are they thinking right now?

WHAT’S GOING ON IN THEIR HEADS AND HOW DO I FIND THEM?

Side note: My fingers were numb when I got home.  I hate that.  I couldn’t type my blog so I’m doing it on my blackberry in the subway.  The woman next to me is big enough to fill two seats.  How do people let that happen?…  I wish i could turn around to her and help her somehow.  She’s probably so stuck in a vicious cycle that she can’t get out of.  I’ve been stuck in vicious cycles.  They feel impossible to break through but i have broken through them in the past.  I could help… I could relate…

Maybe she doesn’t want help.

I got tons of celery and carrots and a green apple this morning.  If an apple is even remotely soft I can’t eat it.  I’m really specific about that.

I’m thinking I’m going to try and eat as many raw vegetables against my instincts.  Its so cold that all I want is hot oatmeal and chocolate and a wheat free scone with fake butter and vegan soup but I’m going to just go raw for a while.  See how I feel about it…

I need to find more runners.  That’s my new mission.