NYC and me…
We are a little bit like a passionate love affair gone bad…
I’ve loved this place for almost 10 years and sometimes i feel like it’s kicked my ass during that entire time. Regardless of how pissed I get at this place, I can’t help but come back, despite the fact that it makes me feel cold and crowded and bombarded with people and noise… and it gives me no space to live… it’s obnoxiously expensive and smelly at times but i can’t help but love it and when I’m gone i miss it….
I love the people I’m always meeting. I love walking. I love the buildings and midtown and downtown and Chelsea and Tribeca and the dirty sunrise and sunsets filled with air- polluted purple sky and running into some new restaurant/bar/hole in the wall at the end of the day and ordering a Jameson’s on the rocks by the bar. I love that i can text a friend and the furthest they will be is a cab ride away.
I love that as soon as i get sick of all my shorts I have to start wearing pants and jackets and as soon as I start getting sick of my jackets I have to switch to coats and scarves.
I love warming my hands with my morning coffee on the way down to the subway when it’s cold out and screaming at cab drivers but then saying thank you…
The rhythm i get into in this city stimulates me… it challenges me and it makes me dream. My dreams are different when i fall asleep on the 7th floor of my building. They are bigger. They’re louder and clearer too…
I was running through the streets today. I turned in from the highway unexpectedly early. I usually try to stay out there as long as possible but for some reason i was craving people today. I wanted to see who was out, what they were wearing, i wanted to almost bump into someone and have them turn around or stop or move… i guess this blog is making me even more desperate for contact during (or in relation to) this ritual I’ve been keeping up for so long on my own. By myself. Alone.
I’ve done it in purpose – don’t get me wrong. I’ve had people say “lets run together” or “come pick me up in the mornings that will motivate me” or “I’m training for a marathon lets do a run together” its so rare that i take people up on those offers mainly because i feel like my run is…MINE. it’s not a time i want to talk to anyone or explain why i stretch a certain way or why I’m wearing what I’m wearing or compare ipods and sneakers and breakfasts and strides. i would rather just fall into my own thoughts and ignore the rest of the world.
Why is it that all of a sudden I feel this urge to have someone hear my thoughts? I’m not sure…
I took my ipod with me today and timed my run – one hour and 6 minutes. Knew It. it’s always the same.
One more thing: My favorite kind of music to run to is music with no words. It doesn’t make me feel like someone else’s words are telling me how to feel or causing me to think i feel a certain way… I love instrumental music that lets my mind fill in the blanks. especially when I’m running…
There are exceptions of course. I’ll get into that another day.
